When my facebook friend – a person I don’t even know personally – told me how my smile (in the photos I uploaded) has brightened up his “rather cold, grey Sunday”, it became an eye-opener to me more than just a flattery.
I used to dream of living in a place with four seasons, because the snow in movies look so beautiful and the autumn is bursting with colors. I used to think that it’s a pity for the Philippines to only have two seasons. I failed to appreciate the hot summers I had in the cities. All I did was complain. Now I realized that having four seasons have its own disadvantages as well.
My facebook friend said that people in United Kingdom don’t smile much recently because of the extended winter.
“…the winter is still here, even though it is officially springtime. it has been the coldest march since 1963 in England and now the state wants to ration the gas. 5000 old people have already died of cold this month so it isn’t too good a scenario.”
My, what an irony! While we Filipinos kept complaining of the hot weather, thousands of people on the other side of the world are struggling to keep alive in the midst of the cruel winter. We ignore our blessing of having four, balanced seasons, while they, on the other side of the world would give everything to have a few rays of warm sunshine that we abundantly have, yet fail to appreciate.
“We used to have four seasons but now it is just cold season then wet season, we have lost summer somewhere along the way.”
There I was, in front of my laptop’s built-in camera trying to capture the best pose for my profile picture; there I was, in our Graduation ball, very attentive to all the cameras that roam around for fear of being captured in my worst angle; there I was, plastering my best smile during group pictures and wrestling with friends for the front or center positions. Yet, all those times, it never occurred to me that my smile could travel as far as United Kingdom and bring warmth to one heart out there.
“You keep smiling and I am sure that the cold won’t feel so bad.”
That’s all he asked of me. How can I turn my back on such a humble request?
“The longer the time flies, the more the memories blur in my mind.”
March 03 this year marks the first year anniversary of my status as “absolutely single”, since I broke up my engagement with my fiance. Since then, I never entertained another man again. I had crushes, of course, but the idea of entering into an itimate relationship again has appeared absurd to me.
As March 03 comes closer, I am able to appreciate more and more the fact that I am turning “one year untouched”. No hugs, no kisses, no nothing. I guess it is safe to say that I’m proud of it, with a bonus of enjoying my”absolute freedom” even more.
But then again, there’s always a price to pay. Nothing is free in this world as the sayings go. Whenever you gain something, you lose something in return. What have I lost in the process? Well, it’s that blissful feeling of being loved by yet another soul – a feeling I used to know, or I fancied that I used to know. I can’t remember anymore how it feels to hold the hand of someone I love, to embrace someone I cherish, or even to just plainly look him in the eyes. The whole idea of LOVE seem to grow more and more alien to me.
Oh well. Maybe I haven’t really known true love after all. Perhaps I still belong to the majority of the residents of this planet that’s still on the journey towards finding it (though I don’t really mind if I won’t).
I woke up around seven in the evening. I just recovered from a mild cough and fever which struck me early this morning before I went to “my sleep” (I’m nocturnal, by the way). After taking a bath, I packed what I needed and went out.
I stopped at the ATM Machine near the exit gate of our university to get my allowance for the week. After that, I went inside the school premises, stopped at the Data Center’s Kiosk Machine to check on my grades. Only one grade has been added since last week, which makes a total of four uploaded grades out of ten. Then I headed on to NR2, my favorite room when it comes to internet surfing, and checked if it was unoccupied. But before I entered the room, I went to the coffee machine first at the entrance of University Library buliding. I dropped two five-peso coins, and in less than ten seconds, I was heading back to NR2, sipping my coffee. As soon as I’ve set up my place – the teacher’s table at the center – I began my way to the Wireless Fidelity connection and started my internet session.
Just then I realized: Technology sure dominates every part of my life one after the other. Not only mine, but a lot of people out there, as well. Just imagine what could my early evening has been without these technologies…
Without the ATM Machine, I won’t be able to get my allowance, because banks and remittance centers close at five in the afternoon, or earliear than that – of which times, my soul is still roaming the land of dreams. Without the Kiosk, I will have to wait until Monday, and beg the University registrar to give me a dummy of my grades. Without the coffee machine, I will have to boil water and make my coffee, and drink it before I can leave the house, which would chew up valuable minutes from my internet session. And without the WiFi and my laptop, I’d be in the internet cafe right now, squeezing all I can get from my limited hours session, which would also chew up a part of my limited allowance.
I’m just glad I was born in the information age.
Interests change over time.
Dreams start and end.
Friends come and go.
In the end, what’s left in you is nothing but yourself.
So listen to her, take care of her, befriend her.
She’s your only possession.